So, I had a conversation with this girl I met last night. Now I have had this conversation with a few other people before, and it never sits right with me. If this girl ever ends up reading my blog, I know she didn't mean any harm and is just speaking from her experience, but it still just bothers me some. The conversation was as follows:
Her:Hi, I'm __________.
Me: Hi, I'm Heidi. Nice to meet you.
Her: Oh, you have two boys?
Me: (Andrew was a few steps away)-Actually, we have three boys (I pull Andrew into me).
Her: Wow. Good for you guys. I have one boy and that is plenty. I don't know how you do it. Boys are so hard!
Me: (Remember, all three of my boys are standing right there and listening). I love my three boys. They are very nice and well-behaved boys.
Okay, maybe I'm being a little too sensitive, and maybe no one else sees anything wrong with the above conversation, but it just erks me a little bit.
These are the stereotypes I have heard
-little boys are rough and tumble, active physically, and wild.
-little girls are emotional
Now, since I don't have little girls (although my parents had 5 girls) I have no experience raising them. I have met plenty of little girls that are very active and many little boys that are emotional. I personally believe it depends on the individual and to some extent, the parenting.
Sure my boys are active and busy and they love physical play (think superheros and big trucks that crash)-but they are also very sweet, loving, sensitive, and kind-and yes, emotional at times.
Maybe some of you are thinking "she's just bitter because she doesn't have a girl." Let me assure you, I love my boys and I wouldn't trade them for a million girls. Would I like to have a girl someday, sure, but if I am supposed to have all boys, I welcome that opportunity whole heartedly! I love my boys to death. I am looking foreward to all the many sporting events, scout activities, and all the food that I am going to make for my three teenage boys some day. And if we don't ever have a little girl, I am going to be the only female example in our house. That is scary to think about, but I am up for the challenge.
Okay, I'm done. Vent over. Just needed to get that out.
9 comments:
I can completely sympathies with you. I get these comments a lot about my boys and then when they find out they are twins then they really feel sorry for me. I love having my boys and my girl. It creates a balance for us and honestly one girl is enough. I think we just have to be glad for what we have and know that is what is right for us.
I don't think you could have asked for three sweeter children. Period. They are such wonderful little boys. Yeah they like stinky snakes and spiderman, but they are also caring and give very loving hugs. I don't think you're bitter at all - you're just breaking down gender stereotypes! Go Heidi!! :)
PS. Little girls can also be very physical... sorry for the bites ;)
My brother-in-law comes from a family of 5 boys and let me just say that those boys ADORE their mother, respect her immensely and are very close with her. Sounds like a good thing to me :)
I hate it when people say things like "good for you to have 3 boys"--like you consciously made that decision on your own and are doing some charitable thing by "deciding" to raise them. Maybe that's not exactly what this girl meant ;) but I get what you're saying. Glad you could vent!
Amen, Amen, AND Amen! I can already tell Bubba's gonna be my "emotional" boy and that's just fine by me :)!
I just wanted to let you know that my family and I are off to the North Island of N in october and will be making an effort to pop down to the temple on our visit. Hopefully we will bump into your inlaws! I hear they're a great couple :) Chavah from NZ.
People are idiots. Honestly, Ethan is by far my easiest kid. The most emotionally stable, responsible, obedient, kind, friendly, etc. My girls are both drama queens and take a lot more of my energy to manage.
The dumb comments I got growing up were along the lines of "hey, don't your parents use birth control?" and "how do you remember all their names?" (Duh. Don't you know 12 people?) Just can't win, eh.
Ah you're such a good mama Heidi! Your boys do look very well behaved too.
Thanks everyone for your comments and allowing me to vent. I know there are many more of these comments to come-especially if we have more boys in our future!!!
i completely agree as well. i have one girl and one boy and they both can be ridiculously emotional and both can be rough. and, even if you don't ever have a girl, you'll have daughter-in-laws to look forward to instead!
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